Advice to the young at heart

I had a bit of a jarring experience a couple of a days ago.

In the morning I read the news that middle aged people are mentally past their prime (45-49 year olds lose 3% of their mental capacity). I didn’t have a lot to start with, so that got me worried. In the afternoon I received my college alumni magazine. With my diminished mental capacity I read stories of fine young things preparing to take  the future by the lapels and shake it up and make it froth. I couldn’t help but feel like the old lions in the nature documentaries of my childhood who hear the roars of the younger lions saying, “you’re finished old guy, it’s our turn soon”.

Sometimes it is hard to remember that I was once one of those bright young things, eyeing up the oldies above me while contemplating how my generation was going to eclipse them. I’m pretty sure some 47 year old would look at his alumni magazine and see pictures and stories about us and feel exactly how I’m feeling now.

Middle age offers an opportunity to reflect on our experience, hopefully with some wisdom. The writer of the Old Testament book of Ecclesiastes did exactly that. He was rich, influential, older and reflective. He coined the phrase, “there is nothing new under the sun” and decides that a life of striving and grasping and believing in our own mythology is foolishness. He points out that after your demise enough time passes so that no one remembers you clearly, you leave your wealth to people you have no control over and believing your own press clippings can lead to a lot of self-absorbed stupidity.

Instead he advises the reader to just get on and live as if life matters now and makes a difference now. Don’t worry about legacies or influence or importance. Worry about whether your life will be judged worthy of the trouble God put into  creating you. Enjoy what you have, share your wealth with those who need it and don’t be snared by what seeks to enslave you.

I suspect that he is writing to his younger self.   As I read that magazine and thought of all the ambitions and hopes myself and my peers had over 25 years ago, I got to thinking about what I would write to my own younger self.  Here are five things that came to mind:

1. Never serve a system – serve the truth.  Your country will let you down, your politicians will let you down as will the the economy and the church and any other system you wish to name. Systems serve themselves first and will sacrifice you and mistreat you if it serves the system’s greater good. The truth, on the other hand, never asks for your obedience. It asks you to explore it and discover how it might be lived out for the benefit of you and the wider world. That truth might convict you to change, but only so that you might become a greater person rather than a lesser one.

2. The Gospel never changes but how we express it will always require flexibility and an understanding of the culture around us.

3. A relationship is not someone else striving to make you happy.

4. Avoid functional atheism. Parker Palmer in his book  Let Your Life Speak, says “…functional atheism, [is] the belief that ultimate responsibility for everything rests with us.  This is the unconscious, unexamined conviction that if anything decent is going to happen here, we are the ones who must make it happen – a conviction held even by people who talk a good game about God.  It often leads to burnout, depression and despair, as we learn that the world will not bend to our will and we become embittered about that fact…”

5. Just because you are well educated, it doesn’t mean you are the smartest person in the room. Even if you are the smartest person in the room, you win no friends by pointing it out to everyone.

As we all know, however, even if I managed to get this list to my younger self I would have scoffed at it and thrown it away. Still it’s good to know that I am not too old to learn a few new lessons.

Bright young things can become bright older things if they hold on to that spark of being glad to be alive and glad of having the opportunity to share that spark with a world in darkness. As inspiration to the rest of you that middle age is not the beginning of the end I offer you the words of Eddie Izzard, comedian, actor, experimenter with life and bright older spark:

My homes in London and LA are usually empty: they are not very lived in, but my body is. I feel very alive. I’m living this life and that makes me very happy.


About newnortherner

I'm a vicar in the town of Macclesfield with a lovely wife and three kids who are a credit to me. A friend at theological college told me I was a walking theological reflection so I figured a blog was the best way to get out lots of words without tiring lots of ears. I like cycling, reading, films and just chilling out.
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3 Responses to Advice to the young at heart

  1. Eric says:

    Tremendous post for the new year – maturing wisdom
    Reminded me a little of something I stumbled upon the other day –
    Happy New Year!

  2. Eric says:

    I think the Izzard point is also a salutary warning – life isn’t lived in our heads but in our bodies

  3. I like the Palmer quote on functional atheism. He is a fount of wisdom. I like the idea of writing to our younger self – or to our cocky self – whatever.

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